It may surprise you to know that I was recently featured in, of all things, the Financial Times. What might James be doing in the pink pages, you might ask? Have I been charged with embezzlement? Is Whisk being bought over by the Santander Group? Have I discovered a means of turning water into petrol that only costs three pence a litre?
Well, the answer is no, no and no.
Mrs. Moneypenny has been a regular columnist for the newspaper for some time now. Her articles take a unique, often very funny view of current affairs. She is witty, erudite and, as the journalist is writing under a pseudonym, sarcastic and scathing. You can get away with that sort of thing when nobody knows your real name. I mean, imagine if I started ranting about the people who get my blood up…
It just so happened that the elusive Mrs. Moneypenny paid to come to one of my demonstrations. No, I don’t mean a political protest (I avoided all that placard waving stuff at university and I still avoid it now), I’m talking about working for Aga. From September to December every year, I spend a great deal of my time putting turkeys into ovens and taking them back out again. Basically, I get called to go to various cities the length and breadth of Great Britain and explain how to use an Aga. The run-up to Christmas is the perfect time to do this, as this is the time of year when people do the most cooking. My role is to explain how easy the job is with Aga products.
That said, it does somewhat take the appeal out of my Christmas dinner.
It’s hard to look a turkey square in the drumstick whenever you’ve already cooked what feels like approximately 2000 of them. So I have goose for Christmas.
Unbeknownst to me, Mrs. Moneypenny attended one of my Aga demos in the Aga Shop Knightsbridge, London.
To my surprise, she chose to write about it in the FT, which is surely a first for home economics.
Better still, she gave me an embarrassingly positive write-up. She called me as, amongst other things, a “young, charming boy from Northern Ireland” and a “dishy demonstrator“, which surely suggests that some plonk must have been involved.
Seriously though, I couldn’t have asked for better PR. She also mentioned my cookbook mix., which is advertising of the most inexpensive, most welcome kind, and spoke of installing me in her kitchen in time for Christmas.
Well, Mrs. Moneypenny, I have spoken with my people, and am delighted to say that I would love to be installed in your kitchen – as long as I don’t have to cook another turkey.
To read the full article, click here.